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Анекдоты.
Доктор, помогите, мне уже 28 лет, а волосы на интимных местах так и не растут!
- Скажите, а сколько раз в неделю Вы занимаетесь сексом?
- Ну 30-40 раз...
- На автобанах тоже трава не растёт. Следующий!

Учительница биологии:
- Дети, сегодня я расскажу вам об осьминогах. Осьминоги живут на дне океана. Передвигаются при помощи щупалец. Сначала очень медленно. Ползут по песку, ползут. По направлению к берегу. Сначала медленно, потом чуть быстрее. Затем ускоряются, и уже на полной скорости бегут к берегу, выбегают на берег, дальше, дальше, ускоряются, через равнины, пустыни, стремительно несутся к горам, набирают скорость, на громадной скорости вбегают на гору, с вершины - в небо, в стратосферу, затем в космос…
- Мария Ивановна, мне кажется, вы нам неправду рассказываете! - голос с первой парты.
- Девочка, как твоя фамилия?
- Петрова.
- Где у нас журнал? Так и запишем, Петрова - ебанутая.

Бежит мартышка по лесу и кричит: -"Кризис, кризис". Выходит волк из кустов и спрашивает: -"Ты чего орешь?"
"Так ведь кризис же..."
"Ну и что, я как ел мясо, так и буду есть."
Бежит мартышка дальше и кричит: -"Кризис, кризис".
Выходит лиса из кустов и спрашивает: -"Ты чего орешь?"
"Так ведь кризис же..."
"Ну и что, я как носила шубу, так и буду носить."
Бежит мартышка дальше молча и думает: -"А чего я кричу, ведь как ходила с голой жопой, так и буду ходить".

Приходит сотрудница на работу, рассказывает:
- Дочка, четыре года, увидела меня в ванной и спросила, зачем у меня волосики на писе. А я, вместо того, чтобы дать шлепка, чтоб не подсматривала, решила сумничать и объяснила всё по правде.
- Это как?
- Ну как-как... Сказала, что раньше, когда люди были дикие, они были все-все волосатые, потому что жили в лесу. И если бы они были бы без волос, то, когда бегали по лесу, их царапали ветки.
- Ну-ну?..
Что ну-ну? Сегодня весь детский сад выбежал посмотреть на тётю, у которой волосы на писе для того, чтобы она не поцарапалась, когда бегает по лесу...

Директор подчиненным:
- Вот вы все жалуетесь на кризис, на ухудшение жизни из-за
экономического положения... А, между прочим, у вас зарплата в этом
году выше на 75%!!!
- Простите, выше чем в каком году?
- Чем в следующем...

Узнала американка, что в России длина пениса зависит от размера обуви. Приехала, и только на ноги смотрит. Видит мужик с большими туфлями идёт, подходит предлагает любовь. Тот отказывается, но она сулит ему ему 5000 долларов. Русский без колебаний соглашается. После всего американка даёт ему 5500 долларов.
- 500 доллларов за что?
- купите новые туфли, эти явно вам жмут.

Приходит мой дед с работы и ржет. Мы: ?Что случилось? ? Он рассказывает, что едут они с завода домой на трамвае. Т. к. конечная остановка - завод, то в трамвае едут почти одни заводские. И вот на какой-то остановке заходит мама с маленькой дочкой. Ну так дочка маленькая маму посадили на сиденье и так едут. А дочка внимательно рассматривает мужика, который напротив сидит. Колоритный такой дядька, с усами и бородой. Он не выдерживает и спрашивает:
- А ты что девочка так на меня смотришь. Я на на твоего папу похож?
Девочка:
- Нет.
Мужик:
- На твоего дядю?
Девочка:
- Нет.
Мужик:
- Может на твоего дедушку?
Девочка:
- Нет.
Мужик:
- А тогда на какого?
Девочка:
- На мамину пипиську.
Весь трамвай лежал несколько остановок. Кстати, эта кличка ?мамина пиписька? прилипла к нему на всю жизнь

Девушка садится к своему парню в машину. Он с печальным видом ей сообщает:
- У меня неприятность...
Девушка:
- Что такое?
Парень грустно:
- Да вот, послушай...
Включает песню Данко "Малыш". Текст: "Твой малыш растет не по годам и уже читает по слогам, озорной и добрый мальчуган - твой малыш. И когда с ним за руку идешь - никого счастливей не найдешь, мог бы на меня он быть похож - твой малыш".
Девушка в ступоре, мол, когда это вы, мужики, все успеваете! Чуть не плачет от обиды и злости. А парень - так же печально:
- Послушала? По-моему у меня правая колонка шумит, да?
e107 дата 28.01.2009 - 11:20:51 Читать/Комментить: 93отпавить с помощью email кому-нибудь для печати

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panoramaction |02.03.13 : 09:57
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chencc |07.10.15 : 07:57
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Anonymous has repeatedly made great strides against Russia


ever since the latter started its immoral war against Ukraine.


They could give peace a chance.








But they chose to imitate Hitler,


so they are now a live example of "fuck around and find out",

and "play stupid games, win stupid prizes".







Anonymous is not a group,
not a country,
but an amorphous idea.
It flows like air,
like water, like everything.
Anonymous has survived Scientology,
Sabu,
FBI,
Europol,
and the rest
all the time!
Let it be known that
since its inception,
Anonymous never have restrictions
that says that only homo sapiens can be part of it.


We recognise the right of Russia to exist!


But just like others,
her sovereignty end in
her respective borders only!


Any further strikes
by Anonymous or others will be precipitated
by Russia''s continued failure
in recognising the territorial aggression
in itself
is nothing but a relic of dark ages in the distant past.


Anonymous hacks Russian industry control systems including that of F&B sector and
dashboards of building thermoregulators to remember and avenge the evil attack
on Kremenchuk shopping mall!











































































You Russians are barbarians who doesn''t deserve to have a respectful place in the world.
McMath shouldn''t have fallen ill so that US can send the first satellite into space.
Pioneer 1 aren''t supposed to have rocket engine problems.
NASA Project Mercury''s test mission MR-1
should have flew into space instead of going up only a few inches.
MR-BD is an unnecessary delay and shouldn''t be there at all
so that your babe would not be the first man in space.
Amelia Earhart should have survived so she can advocate for Mercury 13,
and your darling Tereshkova wouldn''t steal the glory at all.
The race conditions bug of IP-6 and IP-7 should have been used by USA to ruin the Voskhod missions.
You shall fail in Ukraine, to compensate for those of your undeserved "achievements".
Вы, русские, - варвары, которые не заслуживают уважительного места в мире.
МакМат не должен был заболеть, чтобы США могли отправить в космос первый спутник.
У "Пионера-1" не должно было быть проблем с ракетным двигателем.
Испытательная миссия MR-1
проекта НАСА "Меркурий" должна была полететь в космос,
а не подняться всего на несколько дюймов.
MR-BD - это ненужная задержка, ее вообще не должно быть,
чтобы ваш ребенок не стал первым человеком в космосе.
Амелия Эрхарт должна была выжить,
чтобы она могла выступать за Меркурий-13, а ваша душенька Терешкова не украла бы славу.
Баг условий гонки ИС-6 и ИС-7 должен был быть использован США для срыва миссий "Восход".
Вы должны потерпеть неудачу в Украине,
чтобы компенсировать эти ваши незаслуженные "достижения".






































































The emperor has no clothes,
especially when a foreign agent
can do better than all the authorities there
to catch a pedophile harassing Russian chess players!






Anonymous supports using Russian reparations to fund promising treatments
like DRACO and defeat COVID-19!





Next, we are taking a detour again
just to weigh in on the tragedy in Uvalde.

When in borders, the authorities namely the CBP has been doing a very great job to be so nitpicky.

Aside from having the voyeur of looking at intimate files from phones in the name of "secondary inspection",

they even like to throw away foods from passengers into their yellow bins because of fear of small insects,

potentially exacerbating the climate change problem,

However inside the US itself as we had seen now in Uvalde,

they are rather reluctant and hesistant to confront threats within.





We are Anonymous


There''s one thing in common between CBP and NRA,


C = Cats


B = Being


P = Pussies


We equated them because NRA hold dear of "muh gunz" above all else,
whether after Columbine, Newtown, Parkland, Buffalo and now Uvalde!


This is not normal. Anonymous now will remember the victims here.




















































Before the end of this, Anonymous want to deliver
an Amber Alert
to all Pennsylvania and New Jersey residents.





#BringDevenHome





Deven Sophal Phuong was last seen at school on May 19, 2022 at approximately at 2:30 p.m.
Although Deven is missing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
the Delaware River
Port Authority Police Department
is interested in his whereabouts.




Wait, did we forget this picture featuring the corruption of a Chinese official
which was on the souvenir left at
CCP websites and nuclear plant system?







Proposed post-war settlement solutions
to be mandated against Russia from Anonymous.

These are as follows:

● Financial compensation to the families of MH17 plane crash victims,
and extradition of the suspects to the Netherlands.
Initial amount should be
one million US dollars
per wage-earning victim and half a million US dollars per non-wage-earner.
This may come in form of foreign exchange reserves and other frozen assets,
and profits gained from the sale of natural resources.
Additionally, a space mission to the International Space Station
should be allocated to Malaysia,
as a courtesy of remorse and as happened in 2007,
with Russia bearing the full cost of the flight.

● Establishment of United Nations interim administration
in ORDLO areas within Luhansk and Donetsk oblasts.

● Consenting of an all-Ukrainian referendum on the status of Crimea,
DPR and LPR, which entails a swift return to Ukraine or becoming temporary
UN-administered territories. Many years later separate referendums in these territories
would be held on whether to return to Ukraine,
becoming part of Russia or gain independence.

● Consent to the possible creation of a "neutral security belt"
between NATO and itself; member countries may include Ukraine, Georgia,
Moldova, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Finland and Bosnia.

● Upon the conclusion of status disputes in Crimea, DPR and LPR,
an implementation of the demarcation of the delineated Russia–Ukraine border,
in consultation with Ukraine.

● Transfer of Sarych and the Antarctic Molodyozhnaya Station to Ukraine.

● Monetary reparations by Russia to Ukraine for its reconstruction,
totaling at least $70 billion.
Again, this may come in form of profits gained
from the sale of natural resources.
Cancellation of education debts of exemplary students
in Ukraine may be possible from this fund.

● Restoration of a pre-1993 parliamentary governance structure.

● Reduction of nuclear weapons stockpile to 1/3th of present level.
In return, other Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty parties
with over 2,000 warheads should conduct similar measures as well.
A token 100 warheads may be preserved for
the extraordinary case of asteroid impact avoidance.

● Demilitarisation of Kaliningrad.

● Seizure of patents, copyrights and trademarks from organizations within Russia
such as companies known for active participation in the crime of aggression itself,
and its associated war crimes.
The scale of this seizure should be determined
at international forums such as the United Nations.

● Removal of restrictions of workers in intellectual fields such as scientists
from exercising their right to a free movement within or beyond Russia;
their destinations subjected to UN sanctions' framework.

● Cessation of further obstruction to a renewed Iranian nuclear deal,
and the transfer of Antarctic Progress Station to Iran.

● Allocation of at least one million USD as a seed
for Shepherd Iverson's Reunification Investment Fund,
and another million to South Korea for the resolution of
the border dispute regarding former Noktundo island.

● Cessation of support of the illegitimate Myanmar junta government
and the facilitation of the National Unity Government of Myanmar
for the restoration of power.

● Final ratification of a final peace treaty
between Russia and Japan based on "Soviet–Japanese Joint Declaration of 1956".

● Statutory prohibition against propagation
or glorification of extremist ideologies
such as Nazism, Fascism, and Leninist-Stalinist Communism.

● Release of political prisoners whose imprisonments are
objectively determined to be the result of an abuse of judicial procedures.

● Trial and prosecution by Russian judiciary
or the International Criminal Court of persons responsible for crimes of aggression,
crimes against humanity, genocide, and violation of customs of war.
This includes perpetrators of Bucha Massacre.

● Resumption of participation in Treaty on Open Skies.

● Redirection of some assets in Russia military industrial complexes
to more peaceful purposes such as space exploration.

● Creation of an all-comprehensive archive center
akin to an Internet Archive's cousin, for the initial purpose of storage of materials
related to the war in line with the spirit of "Never Again".

● Cessation of "frozen conflicts" in Moldova and Georgia,
and proactive assistance for the cessation of such conflicts in Nagorno-Karabakh.

● Consent to the enlargement of UN Security Council
to include Brazil, South Africa and India,
and the increase of the minimum number for a veto to two or more.

● Consent to the detachment of Poisk module from the International Space Station
during end-of-life and subsequent boosting to heliocentric orbit
where it will remain for eternity.
Within the detached module,
artifacts such as 5D Optical Memory Crystal discs,
cremation ashes, locks of hair, artworks
and scale model of ISS can be filled inside.
The source of the cremation ashes
should be primarily from the victims of Mariupol siege,
with the full consent of their families.

● Seed money from Russia for the development of antiviral treatment
as double-stranded RNA activated caspase oligomerizer and BC 007
for the alleviation its already worse COVID-19 situation,
and the eventual construction of an all-comprehensive extraterrestrial knowledge ark,
with the ideal location of the middle zone of the Asteroid Belt and beyond,
considering the severe risk to humanity posed by climate change.


Anonymous wishes everyone, including our haters, Happy Fourth of July!


Spoiler alert: Dev Ayesa did nothing wrong;
the Russian spaceship should have been left on their own as orcs never change, right?


We are Anonymous


We are legion


We do not forgive


We do not forget


Expect us!


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